Friday, April 30, 2010

She truly is an angel

I knew she was an angel. Her bottom is now confirming that for me. As she lays in my arms sleeping, I look at my little angel and I know how fortunate I am to have her.


Friday, April 23, 2010

My Smile

I wake up at 6am every morning and start work at 6:15am. I work from home so I dont have to get all prettied up and go somewhere. Raegan is usually still sleeping but sometimes she wakes up when I lay her on the couch,

The best part of my day is when I hear her get fussy and I walk in there and as soon as she sees me she has the biggest smile. Her mommy smile. I know that smile is just for me. I love knowing that I am the first one she sees everyday and the first one she smiles at. I am so thankful I get to work from home and do not have to send her to daycare so they can see all her firsts before me.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

My Birth Story

I know...3 months later but I decided I need to write it out before I forget how everything happend. if reading please realize some parts may be TMI for you.

It was Saturday January 9th. 10 days before my estimated due date through my dr's office. 4 days before my estimated due date in my eyes. You see, based on the time everything happend and my last menstrual cycle I had my due date as January 13th. My dr's office however had my due date as January 19th based on the size of my little bean.

So 4 days before my due date my husband wants to drive to San Luis Obispo with some friends and do a tour of Hearst Castle. I was excited and was all for it. I called our friends, booked our tour tickets online and we were all set to go. About an hour after all of this I thought, huh, maybe I should check with my Dr and see if I should do a tour like this. After a phone call to the Dr I was told by an advise nurse that I really shouldn't do it. The tour had a lot of walking and many steps to climb. In addition there was not a hospital close by if anything happend. against my Dr's advise I did the tour. You see I was beginning to get uncomfortable in my pregnancy and was looking for a way to progress my labor. I rationalized it in my head with the fact that I had been active through out the pregnancy and I have had no complications. Besides being very hot and a little dizzy in some parts of the tour, I survived. Afterwards we went and had lunch and then headed home.

When we got home is when I saw the first signs that Raegan would be coming. I used the restroom and I finally saw parts of the mucous plug. This happend all night Saturday night. Sunday rolls around and more signs that Raegan was coming. Now on top of the mucuos plug I was starting to see bloody show. It appears that my Hearst Castle tour was becoming a success. Our neighbors came over on Sunday and I told them I am having this baby soon. Probably tomorrow.

Its 2 am on Monday January 11th. I get up to go the restroom or shall I say roll out of the bed because I am huge at this point. Thats when I felt it. A burst of water, my water had broke. Thank the lord I made it to the restroom prior to any leakage and it all ended up on the linoleom in the bathroom. Not as much of a mess to clean up. I opened the door and told Jason, " I am calling the hospital. I think my water just broke". I called the hospital and they said to come in and they could check to make sure it had broke. Adrenaline is running now and I can't believe that this might be the day. Of course vanity also kicks in and I tell Jason. I am taking a shower. I don't want to be dirty when there is going to be so much activity surrounding my body. I shower, blow dry my hair and put on a little bit of makeup. I really do not know what bit of good any of this did. You would say the same thing if you saw the pictures of me after giving birth. So Jason and I head to the hospital at about 2:45 am.

We get to the hospital and they put me in the beautiful hospital gown. They get me all wired up and check me and yes my water did break. We are having a baby. Its about 3:30 now and I contemplate who I am going to text message to let them know. First there are the priority people. Moms, Aunt Linda (who is enjoying her vacation at Walt Disney World), sisters, and close friends who gave permission to text in the middle of the night. Next, when should we let our work know. Since I was due in at 6 am and it was currently 4 am I texted my boss to let her know. Okay everyone has been notified its time to relax.

Relax?? Not possible. For me anyway. 4:30ish they hook me up to pitocin and shortly after is when the contractions start. They were not strong....yet. My 6 foot 3 husband tries to curl up and sleep on a couch that is probably 5 and 1/2 feet in length but I heard a few snores coming from him. I could not sleep. Aside from my mind wandering like crazy the pitocin had started making the contractions stronger. My mom came over around 8:30-9:00 and Jason went home to shower and grab our bags. (no I did'nt take them with me. I wasn't sure they were going to keep me there). We only live 15-20 minutes from the hospital so he wasn't going to miss anything.

A few hours into the pitocin and the contraction had gotten stronger to where I needed some kind of medicine. They came in and put something in my IV. That made it better for about 45 minutes at a time. I think I got about 3 of these shots before I was in tears the contractions were so bad. If they had'nt been in my back I don't think it would be as bad. I asked for the epidural. Unfortunately the anesthesiologist was assisting in a c-section and it would be about 30-45 minutes. Now, that does'nt sound very long but to someone who is crying because the pain is bad that is a looong time. Finally they get there. They send all of my family out of the room to perform the epidural. My luck, I get someone who is in training and it probably took about 10 minutes longer than it should have taken to get it. It was about 12:30 when I got the epidural. They warned me of the side affects and that it could cause the babies heartbeat to go down and my blood pressure to go up. About 5-10 min after I got it I started feeling really naseous and hot. That when all of a sudden 3 nurses and the Dr come into the room and make me move into a different position and make me take oxygen. It had done to me what they said it might do. They had to put a medication in my IV to get everything okay again.

Can you say relief. Ohhhhh....I was in heaven after the epidural. While it felt really nice to not feel the contractions, it felt really weird to not feel anything from my waist down. I asked the nurse, how am I going to be able to push my baby out if I can't feel anything. I mean I could not even move my legs at all. Now I know what it feels like to be paralyzed. My mind wanted them to move but they were not moving.

From about 12:30 to 5:10 we were just waiting, waiting for anything to happen. That is when the nurse checked me and she said it was time. I could start pushing. Remember I can't move my legs. How am I going to do this, I thought. Good thing I had my husband, my mom and mother in law there. My mom and husband each held a leg for me and my mother in law was the photographer.

I digress a little. Throughout my whole pregnancy I said everyone is going to be above my shoulders. I don't want anyone looking when the baby is coming out. You will see her when they get her out. Well...when you are in the heat of everything, it all goes out the door. I had everyone up in my business. I did however warn my mother in law that there were to be no pictures in that vicinity.

Back to pushing. The Dr comes in and I start to push. Now who ever thought that 10 seconds was such a long time. It took for ever to hold my breath and push for 10 second counts. I really think the nurse was counting extra slow. The Dr. though I was a pro. She did'nt realize this was my first baby because I was so good at it. Let me just say I did a lot of practicing while watching the Baby stories on TLC for 9 months. I pushed for about 4 rounds of pushing and Raegan Rae was born at 5:36.

I also need to point out that I said I did not want my baby put on my chest after I had her because I did not want to mess with all the blood and gross stuff. Now that was a lie also. I loved it when they put her on my chest after she was born. She laid there and cried. She was beautiful. She had already scratched her face and everything. The moved her to the warmer and cleaned her up. It was love at first site.

My Little Miracle

It is days like today that make me look at my beautiful little baby girl while she is sleeping and realize how blessed I am. Days when I hear bad news about another mother losing her most precious gift, her child. My baby is my world and every time I look at her I realize how lucky I am.

I look at her in amazement every day. I can't believe she is mine. I am her mother and will always be her mother. I hope she understands how much I truly love and adore her.